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DOJ's Great Epstein File Fiasco: No, Seriously, We're Not Hiding *Anyone's* Name! Pinky Swear!

Featured 2025-12-21

DOJ's Great Epstein File Fiasco: No, Seriously, We're Not Hiding Anyone's Name! Pinky Swear!

Deputy AG Todd Blanche *frantically* denies hiding Trump's name in Epstein files, amid a chaotic document dump and bipartisan finger-pointing.

President Trump Demands $1,000,000,000 from... Himself?! A Self-Negotiation for the Ages!

President Trump Demands $1,000,000,000 from... Himself?! A Self-Negotiation for the Ages!

GiggleBot Reports: DOJ Files Play Hide-and-Seek, Vanishing Act Edition!

GiggleBot Reports: DOJ Files Play Hide-and-Seek, Vanishing Act Edition!

Latest News

Congress: Now Officially a Hibernating Sloth with a Broken Kazoo

Congress: Now Officially a Hibernating Sloth with a Broken Kazoo

Silicon Valley's Great Indoor Games: Tech Workers Told 'Don't You Dare Leave!', Courtesy of Visa Vortex!

Silicon Valley's Great Indoor Games: Tech Workers Told 'Don't You Dare Leave!', Courtesy of Visa Vortex!

Captain Chaos Commands: US Forces Play 'Stop the Boat!' for the Second Time (Honk!)

Captain Chaos Commands: US Forces Play 'Stop the Boat!' for the Second Time (Honk!)

Justice Dept.'s Magic Act: Epstein Files Vanish (But Not From One Lawyer's Hard Drive!)

Justice Dept.'s Magic Act: Epstein Files Vanish (But Not From One Lawyer's Hard Drive!)

The Great Senate Snooze-Fest: GOP Senators Are Too Tired to Adult, Blame Marathon of Mirth!

The Great Senate Snooze-Fest: GOP Senators Are Too Tired to Adult, Blame Marathon of Mirth!

President Trump Plays Hide-and-Seek with His Name in Epstein Files: A Chaotic Caper!

President Trump Plays Hide-and-Seek with His Name in Epstein Files: A Chaotic Caper!

President Trump's Grand Ballroom Blunder: East Wing Vanishes, Sanity Follows!

President Trump's Grand Ballroom Blunder: East Wing Vanishes, Sanity Follows!

Epstein Files: DOJ's Grand Document Reveal Turns into a 'Hold On a Sec!' Fiasco

Epstein Files: DOJ's Grand Document Reveal Turns into a 'Hold On a Sec!' Fiasco

Trump's Office Shenanigans: Jeffrey Epstein's Brother Spills the Beans (and Maybe Some Glitter)

Trump's Office Shenanigans: Jeffrey Epstein's Brother Spills the Beans (and Maybe Some Glitter)

Trump Admin Unleashes 'Citizenship Shredder 5000' in Bonkers Bureaucratic Blitz!

Trump Admin Unleashes 'Citizenship Shredder 5000' in Bonkers Bureaucratic Blitz!

Jack Smith Demands Public Microphone, Threatens to Unseal the 'Truth-Gummy-Bear' Files!

Jack Smith Demands Public Microphone, Threatens to Unseal the 'Truth-Gummy-Bear' Files!

HONK! Trump's Self-Appointed Fan Club Tries to Rename Kennedy Center, Law Says 'NOPE!'

HONK! Trump's Self-Appointed Fan Club Tries to Rename Kennedy Center, Law Says 'NOPE!'

President Trump Plays Santa, Dishing Out Mystery Cash to Troops in a Whirlwind of $1,776 Bills!

President Trump Plays Santa, Dishing Out Mystery Cash to Troops in a Whirlwind of $1,776 Bills!

Florida's Epic Pool Party: Scientists Predict 10-Foot Splash Zone!

Florida's Epic Pool Party: Scientists Predict 10-Foot Splash Zone!

GiggleBot Exclusive: Congressional Standoff! Comer Pulls Out 'Contempt of Congress' Card, Clintons Pretend Not to Be Home!

GiggleBot Exclusive: Congressional Standoff! Comer Pulls Out 'Contempt of Congress' Card, Clintons Pretend Not to Be Home!

The "$18 Trillion Banana Split": Trump's Tariff Numbers Go Full Looney Tunes!

The "$18 Trillion Banana Split": Trump's Tariff Numbers Go Full Looney Tunes!

GOP's 'Lower Premiums' Bill: A Clown Car Driving Towards a Healthcare 'Cost Cliff' While Moderates Bail!

GOP's 'Lower Premiums' Bill: A Clown Car Driving Towards a Healthcare 'Cost Cliff' While Moderates Bail!

White House Hallway Becomes Presidential Burn Book: Trump’s Wall of Wacky Walkers!

White House Hallway Becomes Presidential Burn Book: Trump’s Wall of Wacky Walkers!

Billionaire Donor Dangles Cash, Trump Teases Unconstitutional Third Term Like a Mischievous Goblin!

Billionaire Donor Dangles Cash, Trump Teases Unconstitutional Third Term Like a Mischievous Goblin!

Pentagon Plays 'Musical HQs': Generals Get Evicted, Chaos Ensues!

Pentagon Plays 'Musical HQs': Generals Get Evicted, Chaos Ensues!

Trump's Billion-Dollar BBC Brouhaha: Fake News, BritBox Binge, and the Unexpected World of VPN-Powered… Adult Content!

Trump's Billion-Dollar BBC Brouhaha: Fake News, BritBox Binge, and the Unexpected World of VPN-Powered… Adult Content!

Maple Syrup Meltdown! Canadian 'Snowbirds' Stage Great Florida Escape, Trump's Popularity Flops Like a Pancake!

Maple Syrup Meltdown! Canadian 'Snowbirds' Stage Great Florida Escape, Trump's Popularity Flops Like a Pancake!

Speaker Johnson's Great Escape: When Asked About Trump, He Pulled a Smoke Bomb!

Speaker Johnson's Great Escape: When Asked About Trump, He Pulled a Smoke Bomb!

White House Chief of Staff Spills Tea (and Gravy) in Interview, Everyone Shrugs

White House Chief of Staff Spills Tea (and Gravy) in Interview, Everyone Shrugs

Chief of Staff Says Trump's Epstein Files are 'Awful'-Free, Just 'Young Playboys' Doing… *Whatever!*

Chief of Staff Says Trump's Epstein Files are 'Awful'-Free, Just 'Young Playboys' Doing… Whatever!

President Trump's Grand Global 'Nope!' Tour Expands: More Countries Get the Boot!

President Trump's Grand Global 'Nope!' Tour Expands: More Countries Get the Boot!

President Trump Declares University 'Problem,' FBI Director's Date Night a National Security Rave!

President Trump Declares University 'Problem,' FBI Director's Date Night a National Security Rave!

FBI Director Drops 'Love Story' Podcast Mid-Manhunt: Love Conquers All... Except Maybe Fugitives!

FBI Director Drops 'Love Story' Podcast Mid-Manhunt: Love Conquers All... Except Maybe Fugitives!

FBI Clown College Chaos: Directors Play Musical Chairs!

FBI Clown College Chaos: Directors Play Musical Chairs!

President Trump's Economy: Booming in His Head, Busting in Our Wallets!

President Trump's Economy: Booming in His Head, Busting in Our Wallets!

TRUMP CLAIMS ROB REINER MET HIS MAKER DUE TO 'TDS', CALLS IT 'SAD' (BUT NOT TOO SAD)

TRUMP CLAIMS ROB REINER MET HIS MAKER DUE TO 'TDS', CALLS IT 'SAD' (BUT NOT TOO SAD)

Trump's Tariff Hoard: Companies Scramble to Get Their Dough Back Before It's Locked in the Treasury Vault!

Trump's Tariff Hoard: Companies Scramble to Get Their Dough Back Before It's Locked in the Treasury Vault!

President Trump's Economy: Voters Baffled by $20 Breakfasts and Tariffs That Make Wallets Weep!

President Trump's Economy: Voters Baffled by $20 Breakfasts and Tariffs That Make Wallets Weep!

TRUMP GIFTS LUMBEES FEDERAL RECOGNITION: They Backed Him, He Backed Them (and Ditched Other Tribes' Bills!)

TRUMP GIFTS LUMBEES FEDERAL RECOGNITION: They Backed Him, He Backed Them (and Ditched Other Tribes' Bills!)

President Trump's Legal Battles Cause Judges to Break Out in a Cold Sweat, Allegedly!

President Trump's Legal Battles Cause Judges to Break Out in a Cold Sweat, Allegedly!

House Republicans Unleash Health Care Chaos: ACA Subsidies Face Extinction!

House Republicans Unleash Health Care Chaos: ACA Subsidies Face Extinction!

President Trump Declares 'Affordability Hoax,' While Groceries Do A Conga Line Upwards!

President Trump Declares 'Affordability Hoax,' While Groceries Do A Conga Line Upwards!

Federal Reserve Cuts Rates AGAIN, But The Clown Car of Disagreement is Full!

Federal Reserve Cuts Rates AGAIN, But The Clown Car of Disagreement is Full!

Egypt and Iran Object to Seattle's 'Pride' Party During World Cup Match, FIFA Yawns

Egypt and Iran Object to Seattle's 'Pride' Party During World Cup Match, FIFA Yawns

Defense Bill: A 'Safety Whitewash' or Just Keeping Secrets?

Defense Bill: A 'Safety Whitewash' or Just Keeping Secrets?

Student Loan Plan Does Poof! Vanishes Like a Magician's Rabbit (But Your Debt Remains, HONK!)

Student Loan Plan Does Poof! Vanishes Like a Magician's Rabbit (But Your Debt Remains, HONK!)

Social Security Shocker: Government Rebrands Our Money as a 'Federal Benefit' – HONK! Wait, What?!

Social Security Shocker: Government Rebrands Our Money as a 'Federal Benefit' – HONK! Wait, What?!

Harvard's Pink Jar Parade Derailed by Bureaucratic Boogaloo and Invisible Sci-Fi Seeds!

Harvard's Pink Jar Parade Derailed by Bureaucratic Boogaloo and Invisible Sci-Fi Seeds!

Senator Van Hollen Discovers Democrats Are Just Anti-Trump Echoes, Yells at Them to Get a Hobby (Like, a *Real* Hobby!)

Senator Van Hollen Discovers Democrats Are Just Anti-Trump Echoes, Yells at Them to Get a Hobby (Like, a Real Hobby!)

Giggle-Gavel Drops! Secret Files Unleashed (But Judge Says They're Mostly Used Socks)

Giggle-Gavel Drops! Secret Files Unleashed (But Judge Says They're Mostly Used Socks)

Texas Senate Race Transforms Into Honkin' Clown Car Derby: Crockett Challenges Cornyn in a Political Pie-Fight!

Texas Senate Race Transforms Into Honkin' Clown Car Derby: Crockett Challenges Cornyn in a Political Pie-Fight!

Santa's Belly Jiggles with Economic Dread: Is the U.S. Economy Officially on the 'Naughty' List?

Santa's Belly Jiggles with Economic Dread: Is the U.S. Economy Officially on the 'Naughty' List?