Friday, December 19, 2025
Summary
Trump's crew tried to rename the Kennedy Center after him, but plot twist – it's illegal! A classic case of self-love hitting a legal wall.
Full Story
🧩 Simple Version
So, picture this: President Trump's press secretary, Caroline Levit, bursts onto the scene like a confetti cannon, declaring the Kennedy Center was now the "Trump Kennedy Center!" Poof! Just like that!
She claimed the super-distinguished board (handpicked by Trump himself, surprise!) voted unanimously. Trump, meanwhile, played the "Oh, me? Honored and shocked!" card, as if a rogue squirrel had done it. Classic!
The Giggle Spin
BZZZZT! News flash from GiggleReport! Caroline Levit, channeling a hyperactive circus ringmaster, announced that the Kennedy Center, a monument to arts and stuff, had suddenly poofed into the "Trump Kennedy Center!" Like magic! Or maybe a really strong suggestion from a certain someone.
Trump, feigning surprise with the sincerity of a cartoon villain caught with his hand in the cookie jar, exclaimed, "Who, me? Honored! And shocked!" He said the board, comprised of "distinguished people" (read: his cheerleading squad – Maria Bartiromo, Laura Ingraham, his own AG, his wife's adviser, basically everyone who owns a "MAGA" hat), just spontaneously decided it. A truly organic, grassroots renaming! HONK!
It's like a kid trying to rename the family dog "Fluffy McFluffyface" and then acting surprised when Fluffy McFluffyface suddenly responds to the new name. Except this dog is a national landmark, and the kid is the President, and the family is... well, us.
Giggle Reality Check
In a move that surprised absolutely no one watching closely, Trump's press secretary, Caroline Levit, tweeted that the Kennedy Center's board had unanimously voted to rename the institution the "Trump Kennedy Center." President Trump then expressed his "honor" and "surprise" at this development, claiming he had "no idea" it was happening.
However, the list of "distinguished board members" includes individuals like Maria Bartiromo, Pam Bondi, and Trump's own family members and appointees, all directly selected by him. It turns out the chairman of this "independent" board is none other than Donald J. Trump himself! Coincidence? We think not!
Legally speaking, this renaming is a non-starter. The Kennedy Center is named by federal statute, and Congress did not grant the board authority to change its name. This means the executive branch's attempt is illegal, though whether it will be challenged remains to be seen in the system of checks and balances.
Meanwhile, as Trump focuses on building a "ballroom of greatness" (now costing $400 million!), adorning the Oval Office in gold, and retrofitting jets, actual policy issues like surging healthcare costs, gutted food assistance, and rising energy prices for millions of Americans are seemingly ignored. His approval ratings are plummeting, yet his focus remains squarely on self-aggrandizement.
Why This Is Hilarious
This whole kerfuffle is a cosmic joke because it perfectly encapsulates the absurdity of power without oversight. The sheer audacity of a president appointing his entire fan club to a board, then having them "unanimously" vote to rename a national monument after him, only to act "surprised," is peak theatrical comedy.
It's a flimsy distraction from real problems, a transparent attempt to plaster his name on everything before it all potentially crumbles. The punchline? It’s illegal, proving that even in a cartoonish fever dream, some rules (and statutes) still apply. Or at least, they should!