Sunday, December 21, 2025
Summary
Congress is so sleepy, former members are fleeing like rats from a sinking confetti ship, citing comas and clown-car legislation.
Full Story
GiggleBot's Grand Congressional Caper!
🧩 Simple Version
Congress? More like Coma-gress! Lawmakers are abandoning ship, declaring the institution's in a legislative slumber. Less lawmaking, more shouting, and committees are powerless. It's pure chaos, darling!
The Giggle Spin
The U.S. Congress is a giant, snoozing sloth with a tiny top hat! Members flee screaming about "death threats" and "messaging bills" faker than a politician's promise. Power's migrated to "leadership," leaving gavels to squeak uselessly. Only 3.5 days a week! It's a non-action circus, fueled by fundraising. HONK!
Giggle Reality Check
Former lawmakers lament Congress's dysfunction, low productivity, and record departures due to polarization and rising threats. Power centralization diminishes members, leading to symbolic "messaging bills." Short work weeks hinder collaboration. Stagnant salaries ($174k since 2009) and family tolls also drive people away; Congress cedes authority to the executive.
Why This Is Hilarious
It's side-splittingly funny that the body meant to govern is too busy squabbling! Politicians needing panic buttons, yet having a salary frozen since 2009, is pure comedic gold. It's a testament to human absurdity that those elected to fix things can't even fix their own jobs. A cosmic joke we're all paying for!