Monday, December 15, 2025
Summary
NTSB chairwoman Jennifer Homendy calls defense bill a 'safety whitewash,' potentially undoing post-crash aviation improvements.
Full Story
🧩 Simple Version
So, like, a big airplane and a choppa-choppa went BOOM near the big White House! 💥 Oopsie! Now, the safety police (NTSB) said, "Hey, let's make sure choppas can see planes better so this doesn't happen again!" But then Congress, busy with important grown-up stuff like arguing about bazookas, is writing a bill that might let the choppas be sneaky again. The safety chief is VERY ANGRY and says it's a "safety whitewash"! Is this a secret mission or just plain silly?
The Giggle Spin
HOLD THE PHONE, AMERICA! 📞 In a twist no one saw coming (except maybe that squirrel hoarding nuts on Capitol Hill), the NTSB's top cop, Jennifer Homendy, has gone full cartoon villain… I mean, hero! She's screaming from the rooftops (or at least from a press conference podium) that a giant, confusing defense bill is trying to pull a fast one on aviation safety. Apparently, after a fiery choppa-plane rendezvous that killed 67 folks – HONK HONK! 🤡 – we were supposed to make sure military choppas blabbed their location like gossip columnists. But NOOOO, Congress is cooking up a loophole big enough to fly a Sherman tank through! Homendy's so mad, she says it's a "safety whitewash" and she's "mad." Ooooooh, she's mad! Someone get this woman a stress ball shaped like a tiny Black Hawk!
Giggle Reality Check
Okay, deep breaths. The National Transportation Safety Board (NTSB), led by Chairwoman Jennifer Homendy, is seriously unimpressed with a section of the National Defense Authorization Act. Why? Because it appears to weaken safety improvements recommended after a tragic mid-air collision in January 2025 between a military Black Hawk helicopter and an American Airlines regional jet, which tragically killed all 67 people aboard. The NTSB had pushed for mandatory use of ADS-B technology for military aircraft to broadcast their position, a measure the Defense Department had agreed to. However, the proposed bill reportedly includes language that would create exemptions, potentially allowing military aircraft to operate with less visibility, similar to the conditions before the crash. Homendy described this as a "safety whitewash" and expressed significant anger and disappointment that this provision was included without consultation. Some congressional members, however, defend the bill, stating it requires warnings of position and concurrence before waivers, though others agree with the NTSB's concerns, noting a rise in military aircraft accidents. Families of the victims are also pleading for stronger safety measures.
Why This Is Hilarious
It seems that even after a sky-high tragedy that lights up the news, the urge to create bureaucratic loopholes is stronger than the desire for absolute safety. Perhaps someone in Congress misplaced their common sense along with their C-SPAN remote. This whole situation is a cosmic joke, proving that sometimes, the biggest safety hazards aren't in the sky, but in the rooms where laws are made (and then immediately undermined).