Monday, December 8, 2025
Summary
SCOTUS lets Texas draw clownish maps, ensuring GOP seats and upsetting everyone who likes fairness.
Full Story
🧩 Simple Version
The Supreme Court, apparently powered by too much sugar, said Texas can redraw its election map like a toddler with crayons. This means more seats for the funny party (Republicans, honk honk) and less seats for anyone else, especially Black and Hispanic voters who were told to "go sit in the corner, you’re not invited to this redistricting party!"
The Giggle Spin
BOING goes the gavel! The Supreme Court, aka "The Robes of Ridiculousness," just gave Texas the green light to play "Pin the District on the Minority Voter"! Imagine a bunch of stuffy judges wearing clown noses, cackling as they wave their magic wands to make Republican seats appear out of thin air. Justice Alito, in a dazzling display of interpretive dance, claimed the voters crying foul were actually the real villains, trying to trick the politicians into being fair. GASP! The audacity!
Giggle Reality Check
In a move that made fairness weep, the Supreme Court (6-3, because numbers are fun!) reinstated Texas's newly drawn congressional map. A lower court had already called foul, saying Texas was playing favorites and discriminating against Black and Hispanic voters to boost Republican power. But SCOTUS, hitting the fast-forward button and ignoring a whole lot of evidence, said, "Nah, we'll deal with that later, maybe." This basically tells other states they can draw equally wacky maps right before elections, making a mess that's super hard to clean up.
Why This Is Hilarious
It’s hilarious because our highest court, tasked with justice, decided to play peek-a-boo with constitutional rights. The speed and nonchalance with which they tossed aside a lower court’s findings suggest they’re more interested in a partisan potluck than actual legal precedent. It’s a masterclass in how to make democracy look like a clown car crash.