Monday, December 22, 2025
Summary
Press Secretary Leavitt spun economic 'truths' so fast, reality got dizzy and then ghosted the numbers, leaving everyone baffled and hungry.
Full Story
🧩 Simple Version
Imagine, if you will, the White House Press Briefing Room on December 11, 2025, where Karoline Leavitt, the esteemed Press Secretary, stood like a proud flamingo. She declared the economy was doing a flawless victory dance, with inflation magically vanishing and wages doing a happy little jig upwards. Poof!
But then, a brave CNN reporter dared to open her mouth, presumably to ask a very real question. Leavitt, however, had other plans. She quickly pivoted, not to the question, but to a dramatic monologue about her predecessor, Jen Psaki, accusing her of telling "utter lies" from that very same podium. Meanwhile, Leavitt insisted her own facts were so bulletproof, they probably wore tiny superhero capes.
The actual numbers, meanwhile, were somewhere in the back, quietly trying to explain that inflation was actually doing a slightly less impressive jig, and wages were more like doing the limbo under a very low bar. It was a classic case of "I'll tell you what the numbers mean after I've decided what I want them to say."
The Giggle Spin
HONK! HONK! Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, step right up to the greatest show on Earth: a White House Press Briefing! On December 11, 2025, Karoline Leavitt, looking absolutely spiffy, emerged to drop some economic bombshells. "Inflation," she declared with the gusto of a ringmaster, "is now performing a death-defying dive to 2.5%! And real wages? They're rocketing skyward, delivering a cool $1,200 bonus to every worker's imaginary piggy bank!" Ka-pow!
Just as CNN's Kaitlan Collins bravely tried to interject, Leavitt unleashed her patented "Distraction Poodle." Instead of answering, she launched a full-scale, glitter-bomb attack on former Press Secretary Jen Psaki, claiming Psaki once told "utter lies" from that very spot! Leavitt then dramatically swore her own statements were "the truth backed by real, factual data," adding, "and you just don't want to report on it 'cause you want to push untrue narratives about the president!" (Dramatic gasp!)
However, the actual "real, factual data" was apparently off sipping margaritas somewhere else. The true inflation rate for September was a rather stubborn 3%, not 2.5%. And those soaring wages? According to CNN's business wizard, David Goldman, workers had seen the lowest annual paycheck growth since May 2021! It was less a press conference and more a theatrical production where the facts were merely confused stage props, constantly falling over. Whoopsie!
Giggle Reality Check
Indeed, on December 11, 2025, White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt announced seemingly positive economic news. She stated that inflation, measured by the overall CPI, had slowed to an average 2.5% pace, and that real wages were increasing by approximately $1,200 for the average worker. This was a core part of her message to the press corps.
During the briefing, when CNN correspondent Kaitlan Collins attempted a follow-up, Leavitt noticeably pivoted to attack her predecessor, Jen Psaki, accusing her of past falsehoods. Leavitt then staunchly asserted that her own information was "the truth backed by real, factual data," directly challenging the media's willingness to report it accurately.
However, an examination of the "real, factual data" revealed discrepancies. The actual inflation rate for September was 3%, not the 2.5% claimed by Leavitt. Furthermore, CNN business editor David Goldman reported that U.S. workers had experienced the lowest annual paycheck growth since May 2021, directly contradicting Leavitt's positive wage claims.
The article also draws parallels between Leavitt's rhetoric and George Orwell's "1984," particularly regarding "doublespeak." Leavitt frequently claimed President Trump was the "most transparent president in history," even while defending actions like his "Quiet, Piggy!" dismissal of a journalist or the administration's stance on releasing Epstein files. This usage of "transparency" was presented as embodying Orwellian doublethink.
Beyond economic figures, Leavitt has made other factually challenged statements. These include an incorrect claim about USAID providing a grant for a "transgender comic book" in Peru, misrepresenting the "One Big Beautiful Bill" as fully eliminating taxes on tips and social security (deductions are capped), and falsely attributing the motto "peace through strength" to Trump (it was notably used by Ronald Reagan).
Why This Is Hilarious
This whole spectacle is a cosmic giggle-fest because it's like watching a magician pull a rabbit out of a hat, only the rabbit is a confused badger, and the hat is clearly empty. The sheer confidence in presenting "facts" that are visibly doing a frantic interpretive dance away from reality is peak absurdity.
It’s inherently hilarious to witness the rhetorical gymnastics required to declare one's own truth while simultaneously accusing others of lies, especially when the verifiable data is practically screaming from the sidelines. This entire scenario serves as a delightful, albeit slightly unsettling, reminder that in the grand circus of politics, sometimes the clown car is actually the press briefing room. And frankly, it's far funnier than it has any right to be!