Wednesday, December 24, 2025
Summary
Consumer confidence has plummeted for five months, making everyone feel like a soggy cracker, despite the economy's brief, confusing dance party.
Full Story
🧩 Simple Version
Once upon a time, everyone was doing their holiday shopping, but instead of jingle bells, their wallets were making sad violin noises. Consumer confidence, which is basically the economy's giant mood ring, decided to turn a deep, murky shade of "ugh" for the fifth month straight. It's like the whole country collectively misplaced its happy socks!
Meanwhile, the economy's growth (called GDP, which sounds like a secret agent) was doing a little jig, surprisingly up by 4.3%. But then, it tripped over rising prices and a government shutdown. So, the party quickly ended with a sad trombone sound, and now experts are saying, "Don't get too excited, folks; we might be heading for a snooze fest in 2026."
The Giggle Spin
Imagine the entire nation's mood captured in a giant, inflatable clown — Giggle-O-Meter 5000! This month, instead of its usual buoyant HONK, it just emitted a deflated, wheezy pffftt. Consumer confidence, our collective financial spirit animal, decided to do a spectacular belly flop, sinking for the fifth consecutive month. That's right, five whole months of economic "meh" turning into "MMEEEHHHH!"
Economist Yelena Shulyatyeva, our resident truth-teller, basically said, "Folks, people are feeling worse than a sock puppet with a toothache, even during peak holiday shopping!" Meanwhile, the economy itself, like a surprise party nobody asked for, somehow ballooned by a whopping 4.3% in the third quarter. It was all "Hooray for GDP!" until it remembered high prices and a government shutdown existed, promptly deflating like a cheap party balloon. Womp womp.
Now, experts are squinting at the numbers, whispering things like, "Don't trust the party animal GDP; the mood ring knows all!" It's a classic case of the economy doing a happy dance while everyone else is just trying to find their lost car keys. Get ready for a slowdown in 2026, probably with more sad trumpets and confused squirrels.
Giggle Reality Check
Alright, let's get down to the silly but true facts. The Conference Board's consumer confidence index tumbled by 3.8 points in December 2025, landing at a rather glum 89.1. This marks the fifth straight month of a downhill slide, suggesting folks aren't exactly feeling like a million bucks about their economic prospects.
Yelena Shulyatyeva, a senior US economist, pointed out that people are feeling "worse and worse" about current business and labor conditions, especially during the holiday shopping season. Despite this dour mood, the US economy actually grew faster than anticipated in the third quarter, with the GDP increasing at a 4.3% annualized rate. This was largely thanks to some robust consumer spending. Surprise!
However, this economic "growth spurt" is already fading. Why? Because the relentless rise in the cost of living and a recent government shutdown put a damper on things. Both Shulyatyeva and other surveys, like the University of Michigan's, confirm a widespread negative outlook. Most consumers expect unemployment to rise (which is currently at a four-year high), even if annual inflation is showing some signs of cooling at 2.7%.
Why This Is Hilarious
It's absolutely side-splitting because the economy is basically that one friend who says, "Look, I'm doing great!" while simultaneously crying into a pint of ice cream. How can GDP be doing a happy dance while everyone's consumer confidence is curled up in the fetal position? It's like watching a high-stakes economic clown show where the left hand doesn't know the right hand is juggling flaming chainsaws. This whole situation is a cosmic joke, proving once again that humans are masters of confusing contradictions, especially when money is involved!